Only You
by theonlyeligoldsworthy
Summary: What happens when Eli and Clare meet one on one after five years?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

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><p>I shut and locked the apartment door and made my way out of the building. It's been five years since I last seen her, six since our break up. I was nervous as I got into Morty, but I knew there was no reason to be. I started the engine and began my way to my destination. I dressed in a black jacket, with a grey button up, and black skinny jeans.<p>

When I arrived at the Dot there she was in all her radiance sitting outside at one of the tables. Her hair was still shoulder length, she still dressed the same, and nothing about her really changed. I got out of my hearse and made my way to her.

"Hi Eli." She smiled, she was in a nice baby blue short sleeve dress with white flowers on it and a short sleeved white sweater to match.

"How are you, Clare?" I asked casually as I sat down across from her.

"I'm doing ok, what about you?" She asked

"I'm good. Things are good." I replied as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm sorry I didn't wait before ordering this it's just a little cold out tonight." She said and I stood up, took my jacket off, walked behind her and draped it over her shoulders. "Thanks, but you didn't have to." She smiled as she tugged on the sides to pull it over her more.

"It's ok I wanted to." I smirked at her before making my way back to my seat.

"So are you still with her?" She asked looking down.

"Yea, are you still with him?" I asked she nodded slowly.

"Can I get you something?" The waiter asked looking at me.

"I'll take a coffee." I said as they jotted it down and walked away. I watched Clare play with her purity ring, amazed that it's been so long and she still wears it. "I would've thought that after so long he would have proposed or something." I said honestly.

"I haven't shown him any signs of wanting to be married. Every time we get close to doing something I push him away." She said softly, I reached for her hand.

"Don't cry please." I said looking at her almost teary eyes. Clare cleared her throat a little.

"Sorry sometimes it just feels different." She paused and looked at our hands "What about you and Imogen?" She asked as she pulled her hand away.

"What would you like to know?" I asked her cautiously as I sat back in my seat

"Did you propose?" She asked I chuckled

"No. I haven't we're doing fine just the way we are why would I want to ruin it?" I asked as my coffee was placed in front of me. I took a sip.

"To settle down, have kids, and have a family." She said

"Imogen and I…we're fine the way we are." I said knowingly.

"So you've two have been intimate?" She choked out.

"She goes down on me and I finger her." I shrugged as I looked down.

"So no sex?" She said with a slight smirk on her face.

"No." I said

"Why not?" She asked causing me to chuckle

"I could say the same to you." I laughed. I watched Clare as she grabbed her cup and looked into it as she swirled her coffee.

"Because Eli…he's not…" She choked on a light sob "he's not you." she finished as a slight blush rose to her face and a tear fell down her cheek causing me to lean in and brush it away. "So why haven't you and Imogen?" She asked

"Every time we get close to it I become afraid along with other reasons." I admitted as I looked down at my coffee.

"Afraid of what?" She asked

"Calling out your name." I admitted still looking at my coffee.

"So I guess we're both still in love with each other." She said dryly.

"I guess so." I stated sadly knowing there's nothing I want more than for her to be mine, but I ruined it.

"Eli?" Clare asked causing me to look at her.

"Yea?" I said softly

"Can we go somewhere?" She asked

"Where?" I asked back.

"The park." She said simply I smiled

"Can I have the check?" I called out to the waiter with my index finger raised. I pulled out my wallet as Clare stopped me.

"I'll pay for mine." She said

"I got it." I replied "My treat I insist."

"Well, if you insist who am I to stop you?" She said playfully as she retracted her hand. After I paid for our drinks we hopped into Morty and I drove off to the park.

"No car?" I asked her

"I didn't feel like driving so I took a cab." She admitted. I nodded.

"So why the park?" I asked

"Memories, I've always wanted to go back but I didn't want to tarnish the memories we've made." She admitted

"So going back with me?" I asked

"Won't ruin the memories we made there. I wanted to go with Jake, but I couldn't knowing I'd be thinking about you. Have you gone back there?" She asked

"A few times." I admitted "By myself just to walk around."

Clare nodded as she turned on the radio only to have loud screaming music coming from the speakers rather than immediately turning it down like she used to she laughed. "Still the same Eli" She giggled before turning it down. I let a smirk play across my face as I absentmindedly put my hand on her knee, then took it off once I realized what I was doing. We got to the park minutes later. I opened my door, than Clare's and we began to make our way there.

I jogged to the swing and held it out for Clare to sit in. "Eli I'm in a dress." She said

"That's never stopped you before." I chuckled, she smirked at me smugly as she put her hands in the sleeves of my jacket, bunched up her dress so it was tight around her thighs and sat down on the access fabric she gathered. I started to push her lightly as her curls blew in the wind.

"I miss this." She said

"Miss what?" I asked

"Being with you like this. Doing things like this. Having moments like this." She said

"I miss it too." I said as I stopped pushing her. I moved around to the slide as I watched her swing she looked even more gorgeous as the moon light shown over her skin.

"Eli?" She asked as she started to stop.

"Yes?"

"Can you come hold me?" She asked I got up and make my way to her rather than helping her off the swing I got on my knees and hugged her the side of my face was in her breasts, but she didn't seem to mind as she hugged me tightly. "I didn't mean for me to hold you silly." She giggled as she let go. I stood up and so did she. Immediately she wrapped her arms around my neck and embraced me. I picked her up bridal style and sat on the swing so she was in my lap. I held her for ten minutes it was comfortable and it was just us. "Can you take me home?" She asked and I felt my heart drop, but I knew it was for the best. I can't let myself fall fully in love with her again I'm with Imogen and she's with Jake.

"Sure." I replied as I put her down. "Where exactly is home?" I asked

"I didn't move out of my house." She admitted. "My parents moved their things out when I turned eighteen so I could have a place of my own and feel responsible. They visit from time to time separately, but I still get to see them." I nodded as we made our way to Morty knowing it must hurt for Clare to talk about them knowing they're divorced.

The drive was quiet, but it was comfortable and sad. I know it's going to be a while before I see Clare again and I hated that my time with her now was cut short. I know if it was longer I wouldn't want to let her go so I didn't mind too much. She looked out the window the whole time.

"We're here." I stated softly causing Clare to look around. I parked in the driveway next to a white Honda which must be her car and shut of the ignition as we both got out of Morty at the same time.

"I'm happy you still have him." She said referring to Morty.

"Me too." I said as we made our way to the front door. She fumbled with the keys for a minute before actually unlocking the door.

"Come inside?" She asked, I nodded. Even after all these years she's still the girl I love and am incapable of saying "no" to.

When we stepped inside I looked around and notice everything was the same nothing changed as I shut the door. Clare took off my jacket along with her sweater and hung them both up. "Don't get the idea that you're stealing my jacket." I mocked as she went into the kitchen.

"But it suits me." She giggled, I chuckled at her.

"Take a seat." She said and I made my way to the couch and turned on the tv. Clare joined me and nuzzled into my side like we used to. "Nothing scary." She said as she handed me a coke, I opened it and took a sip before putting it on the table.

"But scary movies are the best." I stated as I looked around and noticed it was 10pm. "What time does Jake get home?" I asked cautiously not wanting to get caught in their place.

"He doesn't live here. I never asked him to move in." She admitted as she moved closer to me. Her head was on my chest as her feet curled up on the couch and I draped my arm around her. "What about Imogen?" She asked

"She's visiting her mom for a few days." I said

"So she lives with you?" Clare asked looking up at me.

"I don't know. I guess you can say she stays with me." I said nonchalantly as Clare nodded and made herself comfortable again as I settled on a movie.

"ELI!" Clare squealed causing me to chuckle. "You know I always hated scary movies." she whined

"But I remember it was the scary movies that always made you happy." I said

"No it was you comforting me that made me happy." She said looking into my dark green eyes while I looked into her deep baby blues.

"Ok I'll turn it off." I chuckled

"Don't" She said as she grabbed the remote out of my hand. I tried reaching for it, but she wouldn't give it up.

"Clare, I'm going to end up shutting it off anyway." I chuckled knowingly as I reached for it again. We ended up fighting for the remote and I don't know how, but Clare ended up getting pinned underneath me. I looked down at her and into her eyes before absentmindedly placing a light kiss on her lips.

"Sorry." I said as I started to pull away Clare grabbed my collar.

"Don't be" She said as she pulled me back. Instinctively I kicked off my shoes letting them fall to the floor and began to kiss Clare intensely as if I were making up for lost time. Clare flipped us over and started to kiss down my neck as her fingers played nervously with the buttons of my shirt.

"Clare we can't." I stated knowingly

"Why not Eli?" She asked back her baby blues dilated with lust.

"Jake will know." I said. Clare pushed me off of her, causing me to sit on the other side of the couch and she looked down at her hands like she was about to cry.

"I don't want to die a virgin." She said softly causing me to chuckle and her to glare at me.

"You won't give it time I'm sure you'll get married to him and have a family." I said softly causing my heart to ping, but also knew that I couldn't do this either and that if I did I'd fall in love with her again as well as take everything from her. I couldn't do that, Clare is more than just a one night stand and she's worth more than that so much more. She shook her head.

"I won't Eli. I can't make love to Jake kissing him is fine, but the way he touches me…." She trailed off causing me to look at her.

"Does he hurt you?" I asked afraid that she might say yes. I felt relieved when she shook her head no.

"He doesn't, but when he touches me…." She paused and knotted her eyebrows together as if she were thinking of the words. "When he touches me it makes me miss your touch and you're all I think about." She said softly. I pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Clare I'm sure things will work out and you won't die a virgin." I said softly

"Easy for you to say, you lost your virginity when you were fourteen." She sobbed I ran my fingers through her curls not knowing what to say. I pulled her onto my lap and let her sob into my shoulder dampening my shirt with her tears "Eli it's only you. It's only going to be you. If you make love with me tonight and I never sleep with Jake at least I'll have the satisfaction in knowing I lost my virginity to the man that I loved for seven years knowing he also loves me back and I'm not going to die a virgin. Please Eli, I still love you with all my heart. Just don't let me die an old cranky virgin." She sobbed. "Even if it's just for tonight I know if it's with you it's going to be special, more special than it would be with anyone else. Please just make love to me with no restrictions." She pleaded as she looked at me while tears fell from her face.

"You're with Jake and you should lose it to him." I said softly

"Eli I can't" She almost screamed.

"Why not?" I said knowing how much it caused pain in my heart.

"Because when he touches me I think of you. When he'd have sex with me I'd think of you and I can't tarnish you like that. When he touches me he's not as gentle as you are. He kisses me aggressively and I know that sex with him is going to hurt me and all I'll be thinking about is you and I can't tarnish your memory like that I can't." She sobbed violently "I just can't" she whispered in between her harsh sobs.

"Clare you don't know that sex with Jake will be rough." I said as I brushed her hair

"I do know it will be and I know it will hurt a lot." She said. I continued to brush her hair as I started to think of what to do. I still love Clare don't get me wrong my feelings for her never went away, but I'm afraid that if they surfaced again…that…that I'd lose touch with her because of Imogen and I also don't want to hurt her either after all we've been through. I finally figured something out that will work.

"Always keep in touch?" I asked back as I wiped the tears away from her face with my thumb.

"Always if something happens I promise to call you first." She said

"Bad or good?" I asked

"Bad or good."

"If you get pregnant I want you to call me first." I said

"Do you plan on impregnating me Mr. Goldsworthy because I don't plan on having sex with Jake because I know if I let it go that far, it won't be more than just sex." She asked deviously with a smirk played on her face.

"No, but just promise if something happens you'll call me first. I don't care what it is just call me first." I stated

"And you'll do the same. If Imogen tells you she's pregnant you'll call me first?" She asked

"I don't plan on impregnating her or having sex with her so you have no worries." I admitted knowing that if I did have sex with Imogen it wouldn't be more than that just sex.

"Ok, but still same thing with you. I want to be called first." She said

"Deal." I said

"Deal" she replied before kissing me sweetly. I licked her bottom lip asking for entrance to her mouth and she granted. Slowly I snaked my tongue into her mouth and groaned at the contact as she whimpered against my lips. I broke the kiss causing Clare to look at me curiously.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked with a raised brow. Clare bit her bottom lip as she looked around. She smiled to herself before getting up and making her way to the closet. I watched as she opened the closet doors rummaging though it.

"Ah ha thank you Alli." She giggled as she stood up holding a condom. She walked back over to the door and locked it before making her way to way to me. I was about to ask if she was sure, but she kissed me passionately forcing her tongue into my mouth causing me to groan. Clare leaned back against the couch and I broke the kiss, she looked at me curiously. I put my finger on her lips to stop her from talking.

"Not here." I said as I stood up, than picked Clare up bridal style swiftly she grabbed the condom off the table that she probably put there without me noticing. I carried her up to her room, kicked her door shut and laid her on her bed. "Are you sure?" I asked again.

"Eli I love you, I've never stopped loving you. Just please make love to me if only for tonight." She pleaded. I looked into her eyes and saw love and honesty I knew she was ready. I climbed on top of her as I held my weight off of her with my forearms. We kissed passionately and I let my hand ghost down her side.

"Clare you're in a dress maybe you should change." I stated

"Why?" She asked

"I want to take this slow." I said as I moved off of her. She nodded as she got off her bed and walked to her closet. I watched as she took some clothes and made her way into the bathroom. Within minutes she came out wearing a pair of short shorts and a tee shirt. My eyes wandered all over her body and I could feel my cock twitch in my pants. Clare walked over to me in a seductive manner and sat down in my lap as I groaned.

I kissed her as I put my hands on her waist and moved them along her sides, my hands never leaving the fabric, but instead taking it with me. Clare continued to nervously undo the buttons on my shirt as her hands shook never breaking the kiss. I laid Clare down and moved on top of her as I let my hands move under the fabric of her shirt and she discarded mine.

"Does Jake have a key?" I asked not wanting to get caught. Clare shook her head and bought me down to kiss her again. I couldn't believe that I was doing this with Clare after all these years I get to make love to the girl that I've loved since I ran over her glasses who never stopped loving me, but we both knew we couldn't be together because of them, I didn't want to hurt Imogen and I know she doesn't want to hurt Jake.

I began to leave a trail of kisses down Clare's neck I nibbled on her pulse point causing her to let out a strangled moan. I let my hand make its way up to the underside of Clare's breast memorizing every inch of skin, every indent, every grove on her body. "Can I touch you here?" I asked against her neck as I tapped the bottom metal part of her bra. Clare nodded and I moved my hand over her bra and began to grope her. Don't get me wrong I've groped Clare before under her bra and I've seen her naked plenty of times before when we were intimate mainly giving each other oral or showering when we were dating years ago, but this is different. Clare groaned and arched her back into my touch as I continued to massage her cleavage.

"I missed your touch so much Eli." She moaned.

"I've missed you too." I groaned as I started to kiss my way down. I took my hand from under her shirt and tugged on the hem. "Can I remove this?" I asked she nodded and I knelt between her legs and helped her take off her top. Clare ran her nails along my bare chest causing me to close my eyes and groan as my pants became achingly tight. I looked down at Clare she was as beautiful as ever. I dipped down again kissing her sternum as her hands tangled themselves in my hair. I groped her right breast through her bra while I moved my mouth to the exposed cleavage on her right. I kissed and sucked the skin there as she moaned. When I switched sides I felt Clare's hands leave my hair and move behind her I swatted her hands away knowing she was about to remove her bra. "I want to do that." I stated and she nodded. I knelt between her legs again as I moved her into a sitting position her breasts against my chest as I nipped at her neck. Holding her up with one hand I undid her bra with the other and then gently place her back down.

My mouth immediately latched onto her nipple as my hand played with the neglected one. "Eli" Clare moaned as she thrust her hips into mine causing me to groan rather loudly. I pushed down on her hips trying to get her to stop. Clare stopped, but instead she took my hand and placed it over her center. I rubbed her out side of her shorts a few times before stopping. "Why did you stop?" She asked. I released her nipple from my mouth with a small popping sound.

"I want to take it slow and make love to you passionately." I stated as I began to kiss and nibble her breasts. Clare moaned as I started to kiss down her body, I kissed each of her hips, each rib of her rib cage, all over her stomach making sure to kiss every inch of her skin before getting on my knees again. Clare started to undo my belt with half lidded eyes. I watched her it was like the first time she took it off, her hands shook just the same. I tried to help her, but she swatted my hand away.

"I got it." She said and I nodded.

"As you wish." I said softly. Clare undid my belt, took it off, unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. I pulled my jeans off and discarded them. I picked up Clare's right leg and kissed her ankles before leaving a trail of opened mouth kisses up her thigh.

"Can I remove these?" I asked as I gripped the waist band of her shorts.

"Mhmm" Clare answered. I open mouth kissed her left thigh down to her left ankle as I pulled the shorts off. I moved so my body was over Clare's again and I placed my hand over her center and began to rub it as I placed kisses on her neck. I knew I didn't have to ask permission since she's placed my hand here before.

"Mmm Eli." She moaned.

"So wet already." I moaned back. I moved my finger in her panties "Can I touch you here?" I asked tapping her clit. Clare moaned as she nodded. I inserted one of my fingers inside of her as she moaned loudly. "So so wet" I growled as I thrust my hips unable to still them longer. Clare moaned again I added another finger into her as she continued to moan.

"Oh, Eli that feels so good." I moved my head and captured her lips in a kiss feeling her whimper against it as I curled my fingers into a come hither motion inside her she pulled away and let out the loudest moan I've heard as her juices leaked out of her and down my hands. I pulled my fingers out of her and watched her as I licked them clean her eyes widened, but never left mine.

"You still taste so good." I moaned. I leaned down to kiss Clare again she immediately opened her mouth to me and I took the initiative and snaked my tongue into her mouth. "Can I take these off?" I asked tugging on her panties.

"Please." Clare said as she arched her back. I moved to my knees again and slid them off. Rather than crawling back to her I put her legs on my shoulders and held her thighs open with my hands as I tentatively kissed her hole and her clit. She whimpered with each kiss I placed on her.

"Eli please don't tease." She begged. I smirked as I licked her folds up to her clit. I started to suck on her clit a little before placing my tongue inside her.

"So sweet." I groaned. Clare tangled her fingers into my hair and I watched her face distort from pleasure as I ate her out. My eyes never left hers. I removed one of her legs off my shoulder so I could suck on her clit and finger her. She likes to have her clit sucked and nibbled on so I did just that.

"Ah..you..ah….remembered." she panted in between moans I didn't say anything in fear that if she's close she'd lose it so I kept sucking and nibbling on her clit as my fingers thrust deeply inside her the minute I felt that she was almost there I quickly removed my fingers replacing it with my tongue and moved my thumb over her clit in a circular motion pressing down hard. "ELI!" She screamed as she came for the second time spilling her warm juices into my mouth. I lapped up the juices from her and pulled away to wipe my mouth off with my arm. I watch Clare's chest heave up and down as she panted. I moved next to her and she moved her hand into my boxers.

Clare turned to me as she tried to calm down her breathing. She removed my boxers and handed me the condom. "I'm ready." She said and she had the look in her eyes that finally told me that this is what she wanted. I moved so I was positioned in between her legs my hand on each side of her head as I fiddled with the condom. I rubbed myself against her causing both of us to moan and Clare to thrust her hips into me as my way of making sure this is what she wanted. I rolled the condom on and moved the head around her wet entrance. "Are you sure about this Clare?" I asked

"I'm sure Eli, just please make love to me." She said. I aligned the tip of my dick with her and pushed the head inside.

"This is going to hurt." I said, she nodded and braced herself. "I'll be gentle don't worry." I soothed. I moved my body lower over hers so she could get a better grip onto me. I thrust slowly just to the barrier letting the head of my dick lightly tap it before pulling out a little I thrust in again hard enough to break the barrier Clare bit down on my shoulder in pain and dug her nails into my back, shockingly it felt good. I pulled away to see tears fall down Clare's face, she tried to hide but I didn't let her. I grabbed her chin so she faced me while trying not to thrust into her more I kissed away her tears. Clare moved and started kissing me.

"Move" she whispered against my lips. I obeyed and moved my hips thrusting slowly into her…agonizingly slow in fear that going to fast could hurt her, Clare bucked her hips up causing us both to let out moans of our own. "Faster" she said and I leaned down on my forearms as I moved faster. Clare moaned loudly with each thrust she received as I grunted.

"You're so fucking tight Clare." I groaned as I moved faster.

"Ah, Eli" She moaned. I moved positions so her legs were on my shoulders allowing me to go deeper. "Oh God Eli." Clare moaned as I quickened my pace thrusting harder into her. I felt Clare's nails start to dig into my back and I groaned loudly. "Do you like when I do this?" She moaned as she scratched the fuck out of my back.

"Yes." I moaned loudly as my pace quickened.

"Eli I'm getting close." She screamed. I tried to move my hand to her clit, but the position didn't allow it. I started thrusting into her erratically as she drug her nails painfully down my back we both let moaned each others names loudly as we both came at the same time. I slowed my pace down as Clare let out little whimpers. I pulled out once we rode out our orgasms and kissed Clare's forehead before getting off the bed and making my way to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry." Clare breathed it wasn't until then that I felt some liquid substance oozing down my back. I hurried into the bathroom, threw the condom away and jumped in her shower. I covered the drain so no water would go down and turned on the shower. That's when I notice Clare is a freak in bed. I chuckled to myself as I watched the water turn red from blood. "Are you ok?" Clare asked from outside the tub.

"Clare, making love to you was amazing. The most amazing time by far it would blow any other time I've had out of the water and you're going to ask me if I'm ok?" I chuckled as I drug her in the shower with me and kissed her passionately. Clare returned the kiss immediately. I groaned as I pulled away. "How do you feel?" I asked as I held her hips.

"I'm fine." She said

"Are you in any pain?" I asked

"A little, but I wouldn't mind a round two." She said causing me to chuckle.

"Turning into a sex kitten?" I joked, Clare playfully hit me.

"Only if its with you. Do you think we'll be able to have other times?" she asked sadly as she took off her purity ring and handed it to me. I took off my pinky ring I've been wearing for the past seven years and handed it to Clare.

"Where did this come from?" She asked as she looked it over. "Eli you didn't!" She scoffed playfully

"I bought it right before we got published. I was planning on giving it to you during spring break." I trailed off.

"When exactly did you buy it?" She asked

"When we went to the mall on a date and you saw that ring in the store your face lit up so much I knew you had to have it. I talked to CeCe and she agreed to give me the money I picked it up that night. I was planning on giving it to you during spring break." I trailed off.

"What did you have to do in return?" She asked

"Clean the house for a month." I chuckled.

"I'm sorry." She said as a tear fell down her face. I could tell she was crying even under the water.

"Clare don't worry about it. You ended up getting the ring in the end so it's worth it." I said as I wiped her tears away. I watched as she put the ring on and smiled at it. She took her purity ring and placed it on my ring finger but the ring was too small so she moved it to my pinky.

"Keep it with you always to remember me when you aren't here and I'll do the same with this one." She said as more tears fell from her face.

"Clare I'm not leaving just yet." I said wiping the tears from her face. Clare laced her fingers in my hair and bought me down to kiss her. I gripped her hips and started to deepen the kiss. "Are you too sore?" I asked as I pulled away, Clare shook her head and reached into the medicine cabinet where a box of condoms were placed.

"I'm sure Alli will buy new ones." She said taking out the box that had Alli's name on it. I chuckled as she handed me one. I looked at the size before gripping Clare's waist again bringing her into the shower and into another kiss. "Mmm" She whimpered as I hoisted her up. Clare remembered just what to do to get me instantly hard, she bit roughly on my pulse point and raked her nails along my back.

"Lock your legs around me so I can open the condom." I said and she obeyed I leaned her against the shower wall causing her to whimper at the contact. Clare slid down a little when I went to open the condom and then she moved her hips causing me to go fully inside of her both of us moaned loudly from the contact. "Fuck that feels so good." I moaned as she kept moving her hips up and down using my shoulders as her leverage and tightening the grip with her locked ankles to help her.

"Oh my God Eli this feels amazing." She moaned. I grabbed her ass and started to thrust into her with the condom still in my hand. Clare's nail continued to run down my back causing me to moan loudly and thrust into her harder. "Eli" She cried out. Fuck she's already close I could feel her walls starting to clench and unclench around me as I groaned.

"Clare we need to stop." I said knowing as good as this feels I need to put a condom on.

"I don't want to." Clare said as she continued to thrust her hips.

"I can't get you pregnant, Clare." I stated as I brushed hair away from her face causing her to stop. She nodded softly and buried her face into my neck as I lifted her up and off my cock. I put the condom on and lowered her back down causing us to moan loudly.

"Eli is the condom on?' She asked

"Yea, but I don't feel it do you?" I asked

"No it feels like nothing's there." She said

"Maybe I should check." I said as I started to lift her off. Clare opened the curtain instead.

"The condom's on Alli bought a kind that you don't feel." She said clearing up the confusion. I should tell Clare to thank Alli, but we aren't together so it would complicate things more. Instead I just started to thrust into her more. Causing both of us to moan. Liking the feeling of the pleasure I'm receiving I started to thrust erratically as Clare bit and clawed at my back more. Clare moaned loudly as I sat down in the tub with the shower still on and started to bounce her on my dick. "Harder." She moaned as she tried to thrust her hips and move herself.

"Fuck." I moaned as I squeezed her ass and bounced her harder and faster on my dick. Clare's teeth started to sink into my shoulder more, her whimpers became louder, and her walls began to tighten more frequently letting me know she was about to cum.

"ELI!" Clare screamed as she started to shake in my hands as she came violently.

"Clare..Fuck.." I moaned loudly as I came and slowed down my pace. Clare unclenched her jaw from my shoulder and I winced in pain.

"Sorry again." She said causing me to look at my shoulder which had blood spilling out of the teeth marks. I could only imagine how my back looked.

"How's my back?" I asked as Clare ran her hand against it too weak to move.

"Full of cuts and scratches." She said before looking at her hand. "And bleeding." She giggled. I moved her hand so I can look at it and it was covered in blood.

"Why you little devil." I chuckled playfully as I laid Clare down in the tub and started to tickle at her hearing her laugh and watching her squirm was one of the joys life could bring. Her laugh was like heaven and I wanted nothing more than to hear them everyday as I laughed along with her.

"Eli. Eli. Stop. Can't. Breathe." Clare laughed causing me to stop. Soon both of us stopped laughing and got cleaned up together.

"I have Axe shampoo and body wash if you want to use them." She said happily.

"Really?" I asked excitedly

"Mmhmm. They remind me of you and I used to smell them when I miss you." She admitted as she blushed

"You knew I was just a phone call away." I stated

"I was afraid of getting her." She said

"You wouldn't have and what changed your mind tonight?" I asked

"I missed you, your green eyes, your cocky personality, your sarcastic tone, and most of all you in general." She blushed

"I missed you too Clare. You're gorgeous figure, the way your hand fits in mine" I laced our fingers. "Your kisses" I pecked her lips "The way I'm still able to make you blush even after all these years." I kissed her cheeks "Everything" I whispered in her ear. All of a sudden the water turned into ice cubes and we both jumped out of the shower before turning it off. "I'm surprised it hasn't turned cold sooner." I chuckled

"While you weren't paying attention I kept making it hotter." Clare admitted.

"My sexy and sneaky little minx." I chuckled as I bought her into another kiss.

"Don't get so cocky my handsome Elijah." She said sweetly lacing her fingers in my hair and kissing me. I pulled away knowing how sore she must be after two rounds of making love since I just took her virginity during the first round. Clare handed me a towel to dry off with and we both walked into her room. "Ready for bed?" She asked as she dried her hair and yawned.

"Yes, but we need to talk first Edwards." I said knowingly.

"I know." She said as she opened the covers for me and I crawled in, she laid her head on my chest as I played with her hair.

"First of all as much as I want to accept this I can't." I said giving back her purity ring.

"Why not, it's not like I need it." She stated

"What about Jake?" I asked

"I stopped wearing it after a year when he asked because his friends kept teasing him. He said he would wait until I was ready and he has, but we just let people think he took my virginity." She admitted.

"What about when he wants to he'd notice."

"He'd have to force himself upon me and he's not like that." Clare said honestly as she yawned. "What about Imogen? When she sees your back and neck?" Clare asked

"She won't I'll make sure of it." I said as I kissed her head.

"So you'll still refuse her just like I still refuse Jake?" She asked

"I can't have sex with her even if I wanted." I said knowingly.

"Have you tried?" Clare asked

"She's tried." I admitted and Clare's face fell. "She gave me a blow job and in the middle tried. Remember when I first fingered you?" I asked and Clare blushed as she nodded

"You got hard as a rock instantly." She giggled.

"When I finger Imogen there's nothing. Hearing her moan instantly turns me off." I admitted "She can't keep herself from moaning when I finger her so we automatically know there's not going to be any sex between us." I said clearing up the confusion.

"It's only me right?" She asked and I kissed her head.

"Only you." I said

"And it's only you too." Clare said "I can't get turned on by Jake either he's tried fingering me before, but I couldn't get wet and it hurt." She admitted.

"I'm sorry." I said as I tried to hold down the lump in my throat.

"Why?" She asked as she lifted her head to look at me.

"Because we can't be together I don't want to hurt Imogen and I know you don't want to hurt Jake." I stated knowingly Clare laid her head back down and nodded.

"I love you Eli." She whispered

"I love you too Clare." I said and noticed Clare had fallen asleep. I held her and for the first time in six years I didn't have to take any sleeping pills to go to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: i don't own degrassi, but i do own nicole and lisa.

a/n: there are alternating pov's

i do have help with this story from lehcar14 we're kind of collaborating if i have doubts on something she tells me if it's good or not and helps me with ideas.

thanks for the reviews and urging me to make this into a story keep em coming haha. without further ado the next chapter. enjoy.

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><p>I woke up holding Clare in my arms, her head was on my chest, and her arms were wrapped around my waist. I ran my fingers up and down her bare spine causing her to tighten her grip on me and squirm a little, I chuckled. "Mmm" Clare hummed as she started to open her eyes.<p>

"Good morning." I said and she looked up at me with a playful smile across her face. Immediately she leaned up and kissed me before hopping out of bed and digging in her closet. "Sore?" I asked as I got out of bed.

"Not much but I think sleeping naked helped." She said happily "I woke up early and put your clothes in the washer so they don't smell like me when you go home." She said and I nodded knowing we both use the same laundry soap.

"I'm glad you're not sore." I said as I walked over to her and kissed her shoulder blade before collecting my clothing.

"Eli I have clothes you can wear here until you go home." Clare said pulling out a pair of my black pajama pants and my black dead hand shirt she stole years ago. I chuckled as I put them on. "I do plan on getting them back mister." She stated giving me a glare.

"You will since I have to wear my clothes home." I said knowing that if Imogen notices that my clothes are missing and being replace she's going to question me about it and if Jake knows Clare has a new outfit of mine he's also going to suspect something. I looked over to Clare after getting dressed and she threw on a pair of short shorts and a thin strapped shirt.

I followed Clare downstairs as she made breakfast. "Are pancakes fine?" She asked

"Pancakes are perfect." I said as I walked behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist and placed open mouth kisses on her neck.

"Eli, I'm trying to make breakfast. No distractions." she giggled, I placed a kiss on her neck before pulling myself away from her, as she poured the pancake mix in a pan I took the liberty upon myself to set the table. Right after I finished setting it my phone rang I put my finger on my lips when Clare looked at me so she knew to stay quiet.

"Hello?" I answered

"Hi Mr. Goldsworthy it's Lisa I'm calling to see if I can get an extension for the final I broke my leg and I'm still waiting for a cast I'm halfway done, but I'm not sure when I'm going home." she said

"You better have a broken leg on Monday, not a fake broken leg or anything I mean literally broken with a doctors note and you better not break it on purpose. Next time shoot me an e-mail please or text if you have to." I said and clenched my eyes closed and shook my head.

"I will thank you." She replied

"I'll see you Monday." I told her I was expecting Gorge to call me asking for an extension rather than Lisa.

"Who was that?" Clare asked

"Lisa saying she's at the doctors with a broken leg asking for an extension on her final that I gave Monday." I stated as my phone began to ring yet again. Clare nodded to me letting me know she'll stay quiet and I nodded back as I answered. "Hello"

"Hey Eli it's Nicole I'm calling to tell you that everyone loved your story and it's going to be published we also would like you to write another one." She said

"Really?" I said excitedly with a smile spread across my face.

"Yes." she said with tons of enthusiasm "Go have fun celebrate."

"I will I'll get right on that." I stated as I hung up. I walked over to Clare as she put pancakes on a plate and lightly pushed her against the wall and kissed her with all the love and intensity I could muster.

"E-Eli what's going on?" She asked breathlessly

"I got published and what other way to celebrate than hearing your wonderful moans?" I panted as I hoisted her up

"The pancakes will get cold." She said

"We'll heat them up after." I said as I attacked her neck placing kisses and nibbles here and there. Clare moaned and raked her nails along my back as I hoisted her up I grabbed a knife from the drawer and used it to cut off her shorts and panties.

"Eli I liked those." She groaned

"I'll buy you new ones." I said as she stripped me of my shirt and we began to rip the rest of our clothes off as fast as possible.

"The-the couch." Clare said between breaths and I carried her into the living room. Clare drug her nails roughly up my back unable to take it, I pushed her against the wall and shoved my hard cock into her against a wall unable to make it to the couch.

"So tight and wet." I groaned into her ear.

"E-Eli." She moaned loudly and I started to thrust into her harder causing some of the picture frames on the wall to fall off around us as well as some of her decorations on the shelf next to us. Clare bit down on my shoulder in the same spot she did last night causing me to hiss and moan in pain.

"Fuck Clare" I muttered as my pace became erratically fast Clare let out whimpers as she started to try and thrust her hips into mine. I groaned as Clare's walls started to tighten around my cock it felt like someone squeezing it firmly and her walls started to clench even tighter.

"E-Eli" Clare screamed loudly as she unclamped her jaw and her nails dug deeply into my back I could feel her warm juices spill around me.

"Fuck." I groaned as I followed her spilling my seed inside of her unable to pull out in time I slowed my pace as Clare loosened the grip on my back. I pulled out of Clare as she dropped her feet from around me and panted as she tried holding herself against the wall.

"Eli that was really intense." she panted and I kissed her.

"Are you ok?" I asked her as I tried to control my breathing.

"I need a paper towel." She panted while looking at her leg. I glanced down and noticed our cum leaking out of her. I reached to the closest table and took a few tissues from the box she had there and placed them against her core to catch the rest of the white liquid after wiping them off her leg. Clare moved her hand over mine and I took it as a hit to move my hand. "We need a shower." she stated. I nodded, picked her up bridal style, and carried her to the bathroom.

I put Clare down when we got to the bathroom, she removed the tissue from between her legs, threw it in the trash and turned on the shower. "Nothing intimate." she stated and I put my hands up in defense.

"Nothing intimate" I said knowing I already have to wash off the blood I feel running down my back. I looked out the door to see if there was a trail of blood leading up here just incase.

"What are you looking for?" Clare asked after setting up the shower and making sure the water is the right temperature.

"A trail of blood." I chuckled.

"There's not trail of blood silly, I used my hand to cover your back so there wouldn't be one." She giggled, but held out her blood covered hand then went to the sink to wash them. I don't know why but seeing Clare like that with her hand covered in my blood turned me on. I walked over to her, wrapped my hands gently around her waist, kissed her shoulder blades as well as her neck and chuckled when she shook her head.

"You do know we agreed to nothing intimate." She giggled as she turned around and I hoisted her up.

"Sore?" I asked as I kissed her passionately.

"Not enough to stop me from making love to you." She said as she laced her fingers in my hair and started kissing me intensely, our tongues fought for dominance and soon I could feel her teeth push roughly into mine as I entered the shower.

"Clare calm down." I chuckled as I pulled away, she nodded as the water hit her face and we started kissing intensely without hitting our teeth against each other's like it should be. Clare dug her nails into my back the moment I held her against a wall. I hissed and moaned out loud. "God I love it when you do that." I growled

"What this?" Clare asked as she raked her nails into my back scratching me causing me to hiss and moan loudly. I put the pad of my thumb on Clare's clit and began to tease it. "Ah!' Clare moaned as her nails dug into my back and then she bit down on my pulse point knowing that it was one of my biggest turn ons. I growled animalistically as I shoved my cock inside her. Clare arched her back towards me and moaned. "Eli lay me down or lay down." She breathed I laid down knowing I want to see Clare on top and be able to grope and please her more than I can in the missionary position, against a wall, or sitting down.

Luckily enough Clare's tub was big enough for me to fully lay down in. I put my hands on Clare's hips as she dug her nails into my sides and I helped her move by rocking her hips and bouncing her on my cock. Soon Clare took over on her own and roughly bounced up and down as we both moaned in pleasure and I twisted and pinched her nipples for a little before putting my hands back on her hips and moving them back and forth over my cock, hard. Clare let out a loud moan as I grunted and soon her walls were tightening around me I put the pad of my thumb back over her clit and firmly rubbed circles into it making sure to push down slightly hard rewarding myself with another loud moan. Feeling Clare's walls clench and unclench around me I flipped us over and started to make love to her, animalistically thrusting into her as hard and fast as humanly possible. "Fuck" I moaned as Clare moaned loud enough for it to echo and then she bit down roughly into my skin I heard the skin breaking under her teeth as I groaned loudly and Clare let out a strand of whimpers while her nails worked their way all over my back digging into my skin. I moved both of Clare's ankles onto my shoulders causing her to remove her nails from my back and her teeth from me as well I kept my animalistic pace as I moved deeper inside her and let out a few incoherent swear words as I did this Clare let out a strand of loud moans some of them being my name. Clare started to meet my thrust with hers sending us both over the edge my eyes rolled into the back of her head as I spilled my seed and slowed down my pace. I nearly collapsed on top of Clare when she moved her legs off my shoulders. I laid on Clare resting my head in her shoulder but kept my weight off her in fear of squishing her. We both panted for a while before our breaths steadied out.

"I think we need to shower." Clare said as the water started to get cold. I nodded as I pulled out and removed myself off her, she whimpered from the loss.

After we showered we went back down stairs wrapped in towels mainly because my clothes were down stairs. I walked over to pick up the picture frames and fallen decorations from our first round, luckily nothing was broken. I hung the frames back up and put the decorations back on the shelf unsure of the order, but I knew Clare would fix them. "I'm heating up the pancakes." Clare said

"Ok were they really cold?" I asked

"Colder than I'd like them to be." Clare stated and I walked to the kitchen to see her waiting patiently for the pancakes to come out of the microwave. When the microwave chimed Clare took the plate out and we made our way to the table and sat down across from each other as we served ourselves. I put butter and syrup on mine while Clare just used syrup. "How are they?" She asked

"Really good, but that's to be expected." I said before taking some of my orange juice Clare must have set out.

"Thank you." She said with a smile. The rest of breakfast was spent talking about when we'd see each other next, we decided that the weekends would be best because that's usually when Imogen is at her mom's and Clare's off from classes. After eating I helped Clare with dishes. "Eli your clothes are dry." Clare said as she walked out of the laundry room.

"Thank you." I said as I kissed the side of her cheek and walked into the laundry room. Clare walked back out leaving me alone I'm guessing because she wanted to get dressed as well. Moments later Clare walked back in handing me my cell phone which was ringing. "Thank you again." I smiled kissing her lips as I took my cell phone. "Hello?" I asked

"Hey Eli, I'm just letting you know I'll be back in an hour so I expect you to be fully awake and dressed." Imogen said

"Yes mom." I groaned

"Funny. I love you and I'll see you in an hour."

"Same to you and ok." I said not wanting to say anymore heartless I love you's. I looked at the time and it only takes me thirty minutes to get home from here. Clare ran in the laundry room with my shoes hurriedly.

"I love you, I'm sorry but you need to go Jake's going to be here in thirty minutes." She said in between kisses as she handed me my shoes. I guess today wasn't a good day for us to spend quality time together.

"I love you too and it's ok." I said I hurriedly put on my shoes. "Keys." I said calling out to Clare once I entered the living room, she walked over and handed them to me before walking me to the door. I opened it and started to walk out.

"Eli" Clare called out, I turned to her as she motioned for me to go back to her. She looked around and kissed me deeply. "I love you and I can't wait to see you next weekend." She said

"I love you too and hopefully we'll be able to spend quality time together." I said and kissed her chastely one last time. I licked my lips as I walked over to Morty and noticed something hanging off my key chain. It was Clare's purity ring, but I had to move it in fear the Imogen would notice I decided to do that at home. I hopped in Morty and pulled out of Clare's drive way as I made my way home.

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Not even ten minutes after Eli left there was a knock on the door. I half heartedly hoped it would be him saying he forgot something or wanted another kiss, but instead when I answered it, it was Jake.

"How are you?" He asked as he walked inside.

"I'm ok. How was work?" I asked back as I shut the door behind him.

"It would've been better if you were able to visit me there." He stated

"I'm sorry." I lied knowing if I were able to go see Jake and had to I'd lose out on my Eli time. "Did you eat yet?" I asked knowing that if I don't ask Jake he'll tell me about his friends at work that have girlfriends who always make sure they're fed.

"No I didn't but what are you planning on making?" He asked I opened up the fridge to see what we had and rummaged around a little and did the same with the freezer.

"Would you like burgers or hot dogs or something?" I asked

"Can you make French toast?" Jake asked sweetly causing me to smile.

"Of couse" I chimed as I pulled out the bread, eggs, and cinnamon. Jake watched tv as I made his food I'm not sure if it's breakfast or not because Jake normally works nights so he eats his breakfast before he goes into work and his dinner is normally 6am. The food didn't take me long to cook. I served it with a glass of orange juice and a glass of milk. I forgot to pick up the syrup from when I ate breakfast with Eli. "Food's done." I said as I put a plate down at the table for him. I watched Jake get up from the couch and walk to the table. He said down and eyed his food hungrily before starting to cut into it.

"Do you have today's paper?" He asked looking up at me.

"I think it's outside. I'll be right back." I said before wiping my hands off and going outside, sure enough the paper was right next to my mail box. Once I got inside I removed it from the clear bag and handed it to Jake before walking into the kitchen to do the dishes.

"Thank you again. This is why I have the bestgirl friend." Jake said and I faked a smile. The thought of doing this for Jake churned my stomach, don't get me wrong he's sweet, caring, and amazing but there are times when he's just the opposite.

I miss the old Jake that I dated back in high school the one that cared about me I mean actually cared, that actually took the time to get to know me again, the one that always made me smile, but I guess that Jake is long gone. Now he only cares about himself, how he looks, how he brags to his friends about me when I dress how he wants me to, and gets jealous every time a guy looks at me the wrong way. Granted Eli got jealous, but he never once yelled at me because of the way a guy looked at me or talked down to me. Jake only cares about me when he wants to mainly because he knows it'll keep me by his side, but I'm only looking for a way out. I know I can leave him and still be with Eli, but I've known Jake since I was a child and I don't want to hurt him without a reason don't get me wrong I like him, but I don't love him and I don't think he loves me anymore. The faster this relationship withers away the faster he can leave me.

"Brunch was great thank you again." Jake said and I nodded curtly to him as he got up and made his way to the living room. "Come watch TV with me." He said and I did as asked only I bought two cans of coke with me. "Would you like to watch a movie with me?" Jake asked I groaned inside, but he knows my preference in movies so what bad could come of it?

"Sure." I said as I grabbed two cokes from the fridge, walked back, and handed Jake one as I sat on the couch. I sat on the opposite end of Jake like I normally do and opened my soda as he flipped through channels.

"AAAHHHH!" someone screamed on the tv causing me to avert my attention from the clock I was looking at while trying to figure out how it got to be 2:45pm so fast to the tv screen.

"Jake you know I hate horror movies." I whined as I sat my soda on the coffee table.

"Come on a friend at work said it gives us a reason to be closer to each other besides if I put something else on you'll become too enticed into the movie to pay any attention to me." He complained.

I guess Jake took the hint that I wasn't moving because he moved to me and forcefully wrapped his arms around me roughly pulling me towards him. I reached over to the side table and pulled out a magazine while Jake engrossed himself in his horror film. "Clare you're supposed to watch the movie with me." Jake stated

"I hate horror films." I spat

"I hate romance and vampire films but I watch them with you." Jake said

"No you don't. You watch football games or hockey on your iPhone." I argued

"Fine if you don't want to watch a horror film with me don't I've just waisted my time here. I'm going home." He yelled as he got up rushed out of the house and slammed the door behind him. I did the best thing I could think of I went to my room, got my cell phone and hoped for an answer.

"Hello?" Eli answered

"I don't know what to do." I said trying not to let my voice shake but failing.

"Calm down what's wrong?" Eli asked

"I don't know Eli, maybe I'm over thinking things." I said as he took a deep breath.

"Is it Jake?" He asked I nodded forgetting I'm on the phone. "Are you nodding or shaking your head?" Eli chuckled lightly.

"I nodded." I giggled

"Did he hurt you?" He asked

"No, he just gets really angry." I said as there was a knock on the door. "Hold on" I said as I looked out of the window to see Jake. "I have to go Jake's here and I love you." I said

"I love you too and if anything happens call please." He cooed

"I will I promise and this time I won't break it." I assured before hanging up and answering the door.

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I hung up the phone with Clare and started at the lap top on the desk in front of me right before Imogen walked in the door.

"I see you're up and dressed." She chimed I smirked sarcastically at her.

"Have fun?" I asked

"It wasn't bad, the same as usual mom, dad fighting off and on." She sighed as she walked over to me. "How was your day?" She asked as she walked behind me.

"Not bad Nicole called to tell me my story got published." I said happily as I turned to face her.

"Eli it's probably a scam didn't I ask you not to talk to her before because she likes you." She whined

"She's married why don't you understand that, the woman has two kids and she's pregnant with her third I don't think she'd give up her happy life style for me." I argued.

"Whatever Eli." She sighed as she walked away. "Would you like a cup of coffee?" She asked happily

"Sure." I said as I started to get up from my seat and walk to her.

"I'm sorry for freaking out on you." Imogen said as she put the coffee maker on.

"It's ok." I said as I looked at the table we didn't talk which was both uncomfortable and awkward. I watched as Imogen went back to her bags and unpack them knocking over one of my shoe boxes. I rushed over to see pictures of me and Julia spilled out all over the floor.

"Eli I thought you threw all this crap away." She stated venomously

"It's Julia I can't just throw her away." I stated in a raised voice.

"It's a girl and believe or not girls we like guys." She stated

"She's dead Imogen she's not coming back from the grave." I said knowingly

"Why do you need pictures of your dead ex anyway?" She asked

"So I can remember her." I stated

"You have me why can't you just throw them out." She said

"Clare used to let me keep a picture of Jules out on my dresser why can't you just be more reasonable." I said knowing it pisses her off when I call Julia by the nickname I gave her and bring Clare up into a conversation.

"Eli I don't believe you. Can't you just be happy with me like we used to be before I found out about your dead ex girlfriend." Imogen asked

"Julia…Her name is Julia." I said standing up looking at her dead in the eye. "I can't help it if she died this is me, this is who I am and you're still with me knowing this and you know you can leave any time you damned well please." I said full of venom. It wouldn't be the first time Imogen got mad at me for keeping some of Julia's things.

"I'm getting in the shower." Imogen stated dryly as she grabbed a few of her clothes, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her. I sighed as I picked up the rest of Julia's things, but them back in the small box, put the box away and sat on my bed. When I heard the shower go on I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I sat impatiently waiting for the person to pick up.

"Hello?" Clare whispered

"Hey I'm just checking to see if you're ok." I said

"I'm fine." She sighed

"Are you sure?" I asked half hoping she wasn't

"It's just that Jake drives me insane sometimes." she stated

"I'm sorry, but if you want to leave him do it, call me and I'll leave Imogen." I stated knowing I would.

"Why would you leave Imogen?" Clare asked

"She's trying to make me get rid of Julia." I sighed

"Eli, you can't get rid of her does she know Julia's a part of you?" Clare asked

"I don't know it's like we how to press each other's buttons so we do she'll tell me to throw away things I want to keep because of some illogical reason and I'll argue with her." I said

"Jake just gets angry at little things and runs out, but he always comes back with flowers or something little like that and it makes me smile and then I become weak and think 'I can't leave him that maybe it'll all blow over' when it doesn't." She said softly.

"Imogen is like that too. I'll walk out mad at her, but the minute I get back she'll have the apartment decorated nicely, or have a romantic dinner cooked or something like that and I can't find the heart to tell her that I hate fighting with her or that 70 percent of the time I'm just unhappy." I said finally admitting it.

"But it's unhealthy for us to stay like this we need to think of a way out." Clare said knowingly and I knew she was right, she is taking psychology in college for a reason after all.

"Soon though, this needs to be done soon preferable sometime in the next two months." She said.

"Agreed." I stated

"I have to go Jake's calling me. I love you." She said and hung up before I could tell her I love her too.

I laid in bed and turned on the TV as Imogen took her time in the shower. I looked at the clock to see that it was close to dinner meaning I was at Clare's for most of the day. "I'm going to make dinner." Imogen said as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Need help?" I asked

"No, just relax." She said and I nodded as I continued to relax like asked.

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Me and Jake were sitting on the couch like normal, he had his arm wrapped around me and I laid my head on his shoulder as I started to think about Eli and this past weekend with him. I just hoped that life would throw something at us to make it easier for us to be together again neither one of us seemed like we knew how to find the will power to get out of our relationship and it's not as easy as it seems to tell them "Hey I cheated" unless we have to because I don't know how Jake would react to it and I'm not sure if Eli knows how Imogen would react and it needs to be a clean escape.

"Clare are you hungry?" Jake asked breaking me of my thoughts.

"A little, would you like me to make us dinner?" I asked

"That would be awesome." He said I sighed as I got up and walked to the kitchen.

"How about spaghetti?" I asked

"What about the hamburgers you mentioned earlier?" He asked back

"Sure." I said knowing that I'd rather much have spaghetti, but don't want him to get mad at me for not wanting hamburgers, so I took the frozen patties out of the freezer, put them on a pan and began to cook them.

"Are they done?" Jake asked me once his show ended.

"Almost." I said pressing a patty down with a spatula.

"I'll set the table." He said. I nodded as he started to gather up the silverware and the dishes. When the burgers were done I served two to Jake and one to myself and sat down.

Jake fixed his and I put a little ketchup on mine. "This is really good." Jake said pointing to his burger after he swallowed his first bite.

"I'm glad you like it." I smiled I started to think about how Imogen and Eli were as I ate since me and Jake rarely talk while we're eating. I just hoped they were doing ok.

"Do you want go get ice cream with me?" Jake asked as he finished his second burger.

"Sure" I said happily as I popped the last bite of burger in my mouth and wiped my hands with the napkin Jake set. I watched Jake get up from the table and remove both of our empty plates and silverware and throw the plates in the trash while putting the silverware in the sink. I don't really use glass dishes when Jake's here in fear that he'd get mad and that I cooked something wrong or something wasn't fully done and he'd throw the plate at the wall. Instead I just hide them when I know he's coming over. "Thank you." I said as I stood up and carried the condiments to the fridge and put them away.

"You're welcome, so how about that ice cream." He said

"Let me get changed." I smiled

"What are you changing into?" He asked

"A pair of skinny jeans and a nice top." I said

"How about a nice dress with something to match you should have a head band in and wear high heels so you aren't as short." He ordered though it sounded like a suggestion I knew it was an order.

"Ok." I sighed as I made my way into my room. I hated high heels I felt lucky that Eli never makes me wear them and that he never did, I am also happy Eli think I look amazing in anything I wear even his clothes while Jake is the complete opposite. "How do I look?" I asked Jake after making sure I was "perfect" enough to go out in public with him.

"Like a perfect 10." he said as I grabbed a sweat jacket from the closet knowing that if I don't' bring it I'll end up freezing until we either get in the truck or go inside a store Jake never takes his jacket off for me anymore. After I grabbed my jacket we made our way out the door I shut and locked it behind us.

Jake walked to his truck a head of me, hopped in on his side, started the car and buckled himself in as I waited for him to unlock my door. I opened it once I heard the click and hopped it and shut the door. Jake pulled out of the drive way not giving me a chance to buckle myself in at least Eli makes sure I'm ready either by asking me or glancing over.

When we got to the ice cream shop it took me a minute to realise that I'm not with Eli and Jake doesn't open the door for me. I opened the door and got out of the car making sure my door was locked as well, only to find Jake already inside the shop. I walked inside and stood next to him. "Finally decided to join." He chuckled

"Sorry." I said

"It's ok what do you want?" He asked

"A chocolate cone with sprinkles." I said and he nodded. When it was our turn to order Jake order our ice cream and like normal I handed him my money when the cashier wasn't looking because he doesn't like when people know I pay for myself.

Part of me wishes he treated me like this in high school because I wouldn't have left him, but after being with him for six years a girl kind of gets attached and it becomes all she knows.

"Here you go." Jake said as he handed me my cone. I smiled at him as I took it and we made our way out of the shop. Jake put his arm around me protectively as we started to walk to a table. We sat down and ate in silence. I started to get cold and smiled at the fact that I remembered to bring my sweat jacket out of the truck with me and I put it on. "Cold all ready?" Jake asked

"Sorry." I muttered causing Jake to chuckle.

"You can't help it if you're like Katie she gets cold easily too so I can't say anything." He said and again I nodded. "Do you want to look around or just go home."

"We can look around if you want." I said knowing I'd rather just head home. Jake looked at his watch and then back up at me.

"I'd like to look around and show you off, but I need to drop you off I have to go to shower and sleep I have a 6am shift tomorrow." Jake said

"Ok." I said knowing that Jake works at some football stadium doing something or another. I found his id confirming his job.

When Jake dropped me off I walked inside, went to my room, got ready for bed, curled up with the pillow that Eli used since it still smells like him and went to sleep.

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"Eli come to bed." Imogen asked I looked at the clock that read 10pm.

"I'm not tired." I said

"That's because you just finished a cup of coffee." She said pointing out the obvious. "Come lay with me we could watch movies. I remember CeCe saying you used to watch scary movies a lot and it give you a reason to hold me." She stated

"I told you I don't watch those anymore." I lied

"But you could learn to watch them again." She pleaded as I continued to type on my lap top. "Please." She begged knowing I ignored her statement.

"I don't want to watch a horror movie." I complained

"Fine we'll do comedy." She said.

"Someone's eager to get me into bed." I laughed

"Anything to see you shirtless." She giggled.

"Sorry but I'm sleeping in a shirt tonight." I said knowing that Clare left a lot of marks on my back and shoulder.

"Why?" She asked

"I feel like it." I shrugged as I changed into pajama pants and fixed the air-conditioner so it would make it colder so I had a reason to wear my shirt to bed.

"Fine." She groaned. I hopped into bed and we watched some lame ass comedy show.

"Can we cuddle?" She asked

"You know I don't cuddle." I said causing her to groan.

"You never cuddle." She whined

"Sorry that's just who I am." I said as she turned her back to me, I did the same and turned my back to her and continued to watch the comedy show. After about thirty minutes I heard Imogen sleeping. I got up out of bed, walked into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet, and took out my prescription of sleeping pills. I took two and walked back into bed. I cuddled up with an extra pillow from the closet and fell asleep thinking of Clare.


	3. Chapter 3

disclaimer: i don't own degrassi.

a/n: thank you for your wonderful reviews. i actually wrote this chapter as i watched anime. it's shorter than i'd like it to be, but please enjoy.

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><p>I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock going off it was 8:30am. "Fuck it's Monday" I muttered groggily.<p>

"What day did you think it was?" Imogen asked as I moved out of the bed and wiped the drool from my mouth.

"Sunday." I stated as I stood up.

"No it's Monday." She giggled "What time did you go to sleep last night.?" She asked as she started to make her way out of the bedroom.

"About 10:30pm" I said

"Ok then you've had enough sleep" She laughed. I rolled out of the bed, walked to my closet, grabbed clothes and went to the bathroom to get dressed I locked the door just in case.

When I took my shirt off I noticed my shoulder was starting to bleed a little from where Clare bit me I smirked at myself and started the shower before fully stripping and walking in. I let the warm water drench me and relaxed a little before washing myself, when I was fully cleaned I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth. Imogen had breakfast waiting for me when I got out of the bathroom I walked to the couch to put on my shoes and socks before walking towards the table.

"Come eat." She said and we both sat down. I picked at some of the eggs and ate them.

"They're pretty good." I said as continued to eat.

"Pretty good?" She asked

"Yea." I said

"Why not delicious or something you always tell CeCe her cooking is delicious or amazing." Imogen muttered.

"Sorry I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. If it makes you feel better it's delicious." I sighed

"You said that to make me feel better don't bother." She said pushing her plate away. Not wanting to argue I picked up a piece of buttered toast.

"I don't want to argue I'll see you later." I said and put the piece of toast in my mouth. I gathered my keys along with my cell phone and left the apartment. The toast was gone when I got to Morty and I forgot to bring something to wash it down with so I decided to make a pit stop for some coffee before arriving at the college.

When I got to the college I pulled out my briefcase from the back and walked to my classroom so I could set everything up which didn't take that long. When it was time for my first class to arrive at 11:00am I sat on my desk and watched as the class made their way inside the room Lisa was absent. I decided to talk about Edgar Allen Poe for a little before reading "The Raven" out loud to the class as they followed along. "Quote the raven. Nevermore." I said darkly slamming my book in my hand as I said nevermore catching everyone's attention.

"E-Eli" Someone said causing me turn my attention to the person saying my name the class turned their heads as well. Clare stood in the middle of the room as I quickly made my way to her she looked weak as she leaned on a desk.

"What is it?" I asked as Clare looked up at me with pleading blue eyes.

"I'm tired and can't drive." she said breathlessly before falling into my arms. I caught her and immediately picked her up bridal style and turned to my class.

"Clear off my desk I don't care where you put everything." I stated the kids started to hurriedly clean it off as I carried Clare down to my desk. The kids put everything on the floor and on empty tables and chairs. I laid Clare on it and her legs dangled off the edge and someone moved the only actual desk in the classroom under her feet to hold them up. "Thanks." I said as I removed her purse from her shoulder and put it in one of the drawers in my desk.

"What did she tell you?" Jack asked.

"Should someone give her CPR?" George asked as I walked to the closet for a blanket not knowing why there are blankets here, but at the same time not caring.

"She wasn't drowning" I said "She either passed out or fainted." I said and she started to stir once I draped the blanket over her, yup she's asleep. "She's sleeping back to class" I chuckled as everyone looked at me from their seats. I moved two chairs one to the side of the desk for the books I needed another to the front for my feet. After putting the books on the chair that I needed I moved Clare's feet and put them on my lap once I sat on the desk and grabbed my Edgar Allen Poe book.

"Shouldn't we be quiet?" George asked quietly. I looked to Clare and shook my head.

"She sleeps through almost anything." I chuckled and finished the lesson before dismissing the class.

"Can I stay until she wakes up I don't have class for a few hours?" Gorge asked

"No you cannot." I chuckled as I removed Clare's feet from my lap and walked to the closet to fetch enough copies of "Juliet, Naked" by Nick Hornby for my next class and put them on the table near the door as I stood in the middle of the room to make sure the kids got them.

"Dawg are is this about Sleeping Beauty?" Paul asked

"I'm not a dog nor is my name dog and no we're not reading anything about Sleeping Beauty." I said unamused

"Mr. Goldsworthy what's with the dead chick?" Brittney asked

"Wait for the rest of the class to enter and everyone make sure you grab a copy of Juliet, Naked as you enter." I stated. Each kid had something different to ask about Clare or asked if she was helping me in some sort of way. When the class entered and sat down I moved back to the desk and sat Clare's feet on my lap as I reached for my book. "As you can tell she's not dead, no she's not part of this class, she's just sleeping, and this has nothing to do with sleeping beauty, though she is quite beautiful herself." I stated. Me and the class basically read the book stopping when someone had a question or to laugh.

"Nh Eli." Clare said causing me and my English 101 class to look at her I smirked to myself as she shifted a little than turned back to the class.

"No one comment." I stated "Please continue Jarred." I stated allowing him to pick up reading.

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I faintly heard Eli's voice talking about some CD I haven't heard of but somehow it rung a bell. I opened my eyes to see Eli holding my feet, he was reading a book when I moved my foot he looked over at me, smirked, and rubbed my foot. I looked over to see a room full of kids, removed my feet off of Eli's lap and moved to sit up bringing the blanket with me. I caught Eli's attention as some kid was reading from their copy and pointed to the blanket he glanced at the closet in his room and I nodded.

"Ok it's that time again when class is over." he said closing his book. I watched as the class left, but one student stayed behind and walked up to Eli.

"Teach when is the final due?" She asked

"Next week." He said.

"Thanks." She said softly as tucked her hair behind her ear and left. Eli turned towards me as she left and took my hand in his causing me to look up at him. When I looked over to Eli he cupped my cheek and leaned his face to mine, our lips brushed lightly as we shared a feather light kiss and he pulled away.

"Feeling any better?" He asked

"Yes thank you." I said "I guess I just needed sleep." I said

"Having trouble sleeping?" He asked and I nodded. Eli caressed my cheek and I leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his lips he tried to deepen it, but I pulled away.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"What if someone walks in and your door's open." I said

"No one here knows I'm dating Imogen and I'll lock it." He said before getting up and locking his door. I watched him as he made his way back to me. He parted his legs when he saw me and kissed me passionately.

"Your next class." I said breathlessly after breaking the kiss. Eli looked up at the wall behind me.

"Isn't for a few hours and no one uses this classroom until six." He replied kissing me again. I deepened the kiss. "We have to be quiet." Eli said as he kissed me again. I wrapped my arms comfortably around Eli's neck and Eli took his time removing my panties since I was in a dress. Eli laid comfortably in between my legs. I helped him take his shirt off and unbuttoned his pants.

"Clare" Eli moaned as I pressed my hand into his erection. I took it as a sign and pressed my palm into him again he groaned and thrust into my hand. I smiled against his lips as I kissed him and removed my hand. Eli reached behind me to unzip my dress causing me to arch my back into his hand unzipped my dress. Soon my dress and bra were discarded and Eli took off his pants I noticed he moved something next to me, but didn't pay attention to what it was. Eli climbed back on top of me and I dug my nails into his back, who knew Eli was this much of a masochist? I didn't mind it. As Eli thrust into me I bit down roughly on his shoulder so I didn't scream in pleasure. "God Clare." he groaned as he thrust fast into me.

"Faster" I said into his ear and nibbled on his neck trying not to leave a hickie there. Eli gently bit my shoulder a little shockingly it didn't hurt, feeling his warm lips on my shoulder. "Did that hurt?" He asked as he stopped his thrusting

"Nah ah." I said as I thrust my hips into his.

"Did you like it?" He said and I nodded as I thrust my hips again hoping to get him to start moving. Eli gently bit down on my shoulder as he started moving and sucking on the skin. It felt really good so I bit him again this time causing him to bleed. Rather than moaning Eli groaned and bit down harder on my shoulder. Instead of hissing in pain I dug my nails into Eli's back and released my mouth, but Eli covered my mouth with his hand causing me to let out a loud moan into his palm and I tightened my legs around him more.

"Eli…Eli." I moaned breathlessly.

"What is it?" Eli asked between pants as he continued to thrust.

"The light bites feel really good." I moaned slightly.

"Oh do they?" Eli asked as I moaned and dug my nails into his back as his thrust got faster and harder. Eli bit down again on my skin again. I bit down on his in return causing him to growl and thrust into me erratically fast as I tried to meet his thrusts with some of my own. I bit down on Eli's shoulder more and I started getting closer, I guessed Eli sensed it as he lifted my bottom half more allowing him to go deeper. He bit and sucked my shoulder as he thrust harder and soon enough we were both whimpering and I felt him cum inside me as my walls clenched around him. Eli's pace slowed down as we panted for a little.

"That was amazing." I panted as I went to sit up.

"Don't move you'll leak." Eli said as he reached for the item he put on the desk near me. I tried to turn my head to see what it was but couldn't. Eli's hand moved to where we were connected and as he pulled out I could feel his hand on my center as our cum started to leak out of me I could tell he was holding something against me and replaced my hand with his.

"Thank you." I breathed

"Anything for you." Eli said and kissed my forehead before we both got dressed. "What were you doing here?" he asked as he buckled his belt.

"I came to transfer it's closer to home." I said "What English classes do you teach?" I asked

"All of them." He said clearing the confusion. "There are only four English professors in the whole school so we all split everything."

"That makes since." I said

"Would you like to go to lunch with me?" Eli asked "My treat I know a really good place around here and no one we know comes around this way, if they do I haven't seen them."

"I'd love to." I stated happily and threw the tissue in the trash. We walked out of the class room hand in hand.

We walked to Morty and as usual Eli opened the door for me before getting in on his side. He leaned over and we kissed sweetly before breaking apart and driving off. Eli held my hand the entire ride there. I cherish the time I get to spend with him since it's not that often.

"I missed you." Eli said sweetly.

"I was with you yesterday morning." I giggled

"I know but I still missed you. I miss you every minute I'm away from you." He said causing a deep red blush to my face. "I love you, Clare" Eli said sweetly as if it were the first time he's told me he loved me.

"I love you too." I said happily and Eli pulled up to a nice looking restaurant with a dark red awning. Eli leaned in and kissed me again it lasted a few seconds longer than the other one and we smiled at each other as we pulled apart.

"Lets get inside." He said and got out on his side. He opened the door and got out as I did the same.

"I was going to let you out." he said

"Sorry." I stated dryly as I looked down. Eli put his thumb under my chin and picked up my face causing me to look into his dark green eyes.

"It's ok. Why are you so upset about it?" He asked and I shook my head. I didn't want to think about Jake or let my new habits get in the way of my Eli time. Eli kissed me again chastely, than on each of my cheeks, and randomly on my face. "Are you ok?" He asked as I blushed a little and nodded. He draped his arm over my shoulder and lead me into the restaurant tucked under his shoulder as we walked inside.

We walked inside and sat in a small booth Eli sat across from me. I smiled at him as our waiter came and handed us our menus. "Would you like to start off with a drink?" He asked. I looked at Eli.

"Order anything you want." He said I looked over the drinks menu.

"I'll take a chocolate milkshake and a glass of water." I said.

"And I'll take a coke." Eli said and we both looked at the menu. We held hands as we quietly looked over our menus. "Do you have a plan for us to leave them?" He asked as we entwined our fingers.

"I was thinking that I'm going to spend less time with Jake and take it from there. Tell him I'm busy a lot even when I'm not stuff like that." I said.

"I don't know why Imogen's still with me. We fight all the time and a majourity of it I'm sitting down as I eat wishing she were you." He admitted softly.

"I don't really like spending a lot of time with Jake." I said.

"Do you guys fight too?" He asked softly. Visions of yesterday flowed in my eyes and a sadness took over me. I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me." I said and made my way to the bathroom. I quickly walked there and splashed some water on my face as two girls entered the bathroom.

"Did you see professor Goldsworthy sitting out there?" one girl asked.

"I wonder who he's sitting with." the other said

"Probably another professor or that girl Gretchen to keep her company while professor Cooper is teaching." She said.

"We should be happy she's married. I hope I get him as a professor next year." The other girl said.

"I hope we all get into his class even though we'll be his students and unable to do anything."

"But we'll be able to talk to him."

I finished cleaning myself up and the other girls noticed me. "Do you know professor Goldsworthy?" one girl asked.

"I know who he is." I giggled.

"Is he really as charming as he seems." the other girl asked

"He is charming." I said "Excuse me I have to get back to my party." I said as I collected my things and left. I walked back to Eli and sat across from him again. "Sorry I took so long." I stated softly.

"Clare it's ok." Eli said as he got up and moved next to me. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong." He said looking into my eyes. I hugged him tightly, he hugged back and kissed my head. "Are you ok?" He asked, I nodded and soon let him go.

"What would you like to eat?" our water asked. I ordered a hamburger and fries as I looked over the table and noticed our drinks have been placed down. Eli ordered the same thing and he just held me against his chest as our fingers entwined comfortably.

"You know I'm going to have to move when our food comes right?" He chuckled and I leaned against him.

"I know, but I like knowing I have you protecting me." I stated as he shifted a little to get more comfortable.

"Clare, I love you no matter what I love only you and I'm going to protect you. I'm only a phone call away." He said and I nodded.

"I love you too Eli." I whispered and he kissed the top of my head. We relaxed together and enjoyed each other's company. Eli moved across from me when our food came. I dipped some of my fries into my chocolate milkshake as Eli looked at me weirdly.

"Since when have you started doing that?" He asked as he watched wide eyed.

"I'm not sure." I shrugged "It's good try one." I said after dipping a fry into my chocolate and held it out to Eli. I watched as he took a bite of it and started to chew it.

"It's nasty." He chuckled, but he smiled as well and I giggled.

"Well I like it." I smiled as I dipped the fry that Eli took a bit off of into my chocolate shake and ate it.

"Come here." Eli said leaning in towards me and I leaned into him as we shared another sweet kiss. We enjoyed the rest of the meal together after Eli paid for our food we walked out and began to make our way back to the college. He gave me a passionate kiss goodbye it was really meaningful to both of us and I wished I didn't have to say goodbye.

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I waved goodbye to Clare after she drove off I sighed and made my way into the college. The rest of the day went by slowly. When the day ended I got into Morty and drove to my apartment I knew Imogen would be there something told me that she stopped looking for her own place because it feels like she's living with me when she's not. I sighed deeply and thought of Clare. When I parked in front of the building and exited Morty I walked inside and then to my apartment.

I twisted the door knob and looked around. Imogen had the place cleaned up and she was watching TV as she ate a bowl of ice cream meaning she went food shopping. "Did you work today?" I asked as I shut the door behind me.

"No I had off." She said and I nodded.

"How was work?" She asked as I walked into the kitchen and put my bag down.

"It was work, nothing really exciting happened." I lied thinking back to when me and Clare made love on my desk and had a wonderful lunch afterwards. I walked into my bedroom and locked it behind me. I stripped off my clothes and looked over my new wounds I've received from Clare and smirked when I remembered how I covered her shoulder with hickies. I heard the door knob giggle.

"Eli can I come in please?" Imogen asked from the other side of the door I didn't answer her I just quickly threw on a shirt and quickly changed into pajama pants before opening the door to her. I looked down when she looked me over.

"Need something?" I asked

"No I just wanted to see if you're ok." She blushed

"I'm fine. I just like some privacy." I stated as I walked past her. I sat on the couch once I made it to the living room and dug in my brief case I had a few papers to grade and after grading them I walked to my lap top and started to type out my book as I thought of Clare. It was dark and sort of twisted, I made the heroine in it have some of Clare's innocent traits, she was modest, gorgeous like a goddess, the had the sweetest smile, innocent blue eyes, short curly brown hair rather than cinnamon hair that Clare has, and she's modest just like Clare…my Clare.

The hero in it was dark, twisted, he hated his life, he hated his girlfriend, but most of all he hated her. He hated her because she was all he wanted and all he couldn't have. With that came his fear: knowing her. When they met it was intense he was in a fight with someone at a bar and she cleaned him up, unable to hold back he kissed her. This isn't your normal love story the hero has a deep dark painful past he wished to keep secret. He feared that she'd leave him because of it. He liked killing things mainly if something hurt him such as a dog his main instinct was to kill it. With people he'd hit them he was always afraid of hurting her on accident. But when true loves pushes them together he finds it harder and harder to reject her and as fate would have it she loved him too.

"Eli dinner's ready." Imogen said as she set the table.

"I'm going to eat over here as I work on this." I said knowing I wanted to finish this and that she probably hated the idea, but she fixed my plate and let me work as I ate without saying a word and I started typing again.

The five chapters came flowing out of me as I typed up each page of it. Before I knew it I was up to 100 pages. I didn't know how, but I kept getting ideas for the couple and threw in some drama and darkness as well as their romance. In the end the hero ended up doing the thing he feared most: he killed her, he killed his wife, the one he loved, without being able to live without her he took his own life.

When I finished my book I looked at the clock which read midnight. Imogen was probably sleeping and I looked to the spot where I put my empty plate and noticed it was gone, Imogen picked it up and cleaned it.

After saving my story and shut the lights off I made my way into the bathroom and took two sleeping pills before going into my room and climbing into bed. I fell asleep holding my extra pillow as I kept my back towards Imogen.


	4. Chapter 4

disclaimer: i don't own degrassi

a/n: this is the last chapter to only you, chapter 5 will be reserved for shout outs. enjoy and please let me know what you think.

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><p>It's been a month and a few days since I took Clare's virginity and things were starting to work out. We decided to tell Jake and Imogen that I'm moving in with Clare when my lease was up, the only thing we needed was a reason which we were going to think up when Imogen goes to her mom's in two days and I just found out my lease is up in a month. The sad thing is neither of us really wanted to hurt them, but I think our happiness is worth it and all I have to do is help Clare find a way to leave Jake because I know she's a little afraid of him.<p>

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone vibrating. I move carefully so I wouldn't wake Imogen and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"Eli good or bad right?" she sobbed on the other line causing me to worry.

"Good or bad. Why what's up?" I asked as I sat up.

"I need you over here now." She sobbed

"Ok." I said as we hung up. I quickly made my way out of bed and rummaged through my closet.

"Where are you going it's 9 o'clock in the morning?" Imogen asked

"Out." I replied as grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and made my way into the bathroom to change. I quickly brushed my teeth as well as throw on some black skinny jeans and a tee shirt and brush my hair and teeth. When I walked out and into the bedroom to fetch my keys and shoes Imogen was still in bed.

"When will you be home?" She asked as I grabbed my keys and put on my shoes.

"Soon." I said. I kissed her forehead, shoved my phone in my pocket. and ran out of the apartment. I hopped into Morty and made my way to Clare's.

The ride was becoming entirely too long for me and my mind wandered. I knew something was wrong by her sobs I just didn't know what. I started to think that Jake found out and tried to calm down my thoughts before I end up speeding there. When I finally got to her house I parked next to her car. I looked for other cars, but none were there meaning she was home alone. I shut off the ignition, got out of Morty, and ran up to her door.

I knocked, but no answer, I turned the door knob but it was locked. I started to panic then I remembered there's an extra key in Morty. I walked back over to Morty unlocked the passenger door, reached into the glove compartment, pulled out the key, and walked back to Clare's. I unlocked the door and made my way inside.

"Clare?" I yelled as I closed the door, locked it, and put the keys in my pocket. There was no answer and I started to panic, I made my way up to her room first, the door was closed and the radio was on meaning she didn't hear when I called her. I shut it off.

"W-Who's there?" I heard coming from the bathroom. I opened the door

"It's me." I said softly and made my way to her. Clare sat on her tub, she had tear stained cheeks and her make up was running. I immediately walked over to her, picked her up, and sat down so she was in my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her head in my shoulder, I could tell she was holding something but I couldn't make out what it was. "What's wrong?" I asked as I brushed her curls out of her gorgeous face. I watched as Clare looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I'm pregnant." She said and I froze I didn't know what to say. Clare moved as she handed me the positive pregnancy test.

"How far along are you?" I asked

"I don't know." She said softly. I nodded, stood up, put her down so she sat back on the tub, kissed her forehead, and made my way down stairs. I picked up Clare's house phone as I took out the phone book. I began to call a every doctors doctor's office in Toronto seeing if I can take Clare in sometime today. I noticed an add saying new patients needed for a maternity clinic and called them up. They had just opened and only had a few patients me and Clare were lucky enough because our appointment was in forty minutes. I hung up and went back upstairs to Clare, she looked shocked when she saw me.

"I thought you left." She muttered

"Me leave you? Never. How could you think that?" I asked curiously. She stood up and hugged me tightly as her arms wrapped around my neck again.

"I don't know." She whispered. "What do we do now?" She asked

"Well now we go to our doctor's appointment to see if you definitely are pregnant." I stated as her eyes lit up.

"You got me an appointment?" She asked I nodded.

"Of course." I answered as she kissed me. Her tears stopped and she hid the pregnancy test in her purse. I waited as Clare cleaned up.

"When is the appointment?" She asked

"Thirty five minutes, you have ten minutes to clean up." I said knowingly. Five minutes later Clare came out the bathroom with her make up freshly done and slipped into some black flats.

"Ready." She said as she grabbed her keys and we both made our way to the door. "Can we take Morty?" She asked as we made our way out of her house.

"As you wish" I said as I opened the front door or Clare and made sure it was locked when I shut it behind her.

When we got to Morty I opened the passenger door for her and shut it as she got in. I got in on my side, started the engine, and drove off to the doctor's office. It took us twenty minutes to get there meaning we were ten minutes early.

Me and Clare walked into the office holding hands scared as hell. I walked over to the receptionist desk as Clare held my hand tightly and I signed us in. We were given a clip board and asked to fill it out luckily Canada has free heath care so we didn't have to pay for any of this. Me and Clare walked over to a couch and sat down. "Do you want to fill this out?" I asked

"Too nervous." She replied I understood so I started to fill it out for her. I already knew her information so it wasn't that hard until I got to the difficult questions.

"Last period?" I asked Clare gave me the death glare.

"It doesn't say that." She stated

"It does too right here." I said as I showed her with one hand. Clare grabbed the pen and wrote down the date. "Any cravings?" I asked

"Bananas with Lucky Charms, grilled cheese with ketchup, snickers and strawberry yogurt, and scrambled eggs with chocolate ice cream." She stated as I tried not to cringe at the concoctions she came up with while I wrote them down. Clare leaned her head onto my shoulder and I craned my neck to look at her. I put the clip board on my lap and brushed one of her curls away and turned back to the clip board.

"Morning sickness?" I asked as I read it off the paper

"No." She replied.

"Swollen ankles?" I muttered and lifted one of Clare's feet with my own. "Nope" I muttered silently and put our feet back down. The rest of the questions were fairly easy so I answered them on my own.

"Edwards" A nurse called as she opened the door to the back. Me and Clare stood up and made our way to the nurse I gave her the clip board. She took Clare's weight and asked for a urine sample. I was lead into an empty room as Clare went to the bathroom. I waited in the door way so Clare would see me and not panic. She smiled at me as she made her way to me.

"We have our room" I said as she walked inside I sat down on a chair and put my hands in my lap. Clare pushed my hands aside and sat in my lap.

"I'm tired." She whispered in my ear. I nodded and let her stay on my lap as I wrapped my hands around her. The doctor walked in and sat on a chair she moved from across the room. "She's tired." I said as I tapped my thumb gently on Clare's waist. She stirred a little "Hey the doctor's here its time to wake up." I soothed Clare yawned as she sat up more in my lap.

"I'm Dr. Childs" She said holding out her hand me to shake and then Clare. She went over the paper we filled out making sure the information was correct. "Ok now that that's over with lets get down to business. Ms. Edwards I need to draw some blood." She said as a nurse walked in with equipment. Clare buried her face into my neck as she held out her arm; she's always had a fear of needles. The nurse took a small tube of blood and left. "We'll be right back in five minutes." She said

"I'm guessing you called off work when you took the test?" I asked Clare knowing she was supposed to be at work at 9am since it's summer. She nodded.

"Eli when we get home can you take a nap with me?" She asked

"Of course." I replied. Clare started to fidget a little as she nuzzled into my neck more. "Don't fall asleep again. I hate waking you." I stated

"I won't fall asleep." She said and a few minutes later the doctor walked in again. We both looked at her wide eyed in hopes that she'll tell us if she's pregnant or not, but instead she put a vanilla folder on the counter, and tapped the table bed.

"Ms. Edwards can you come lay on here. You can fall asleep if you want." She said Clare gripped her arms around my neck meaning she wants me to carry her, I rolled my eyes before getting up and putting her on the bed.

"Thank you Eli." Clare said softly.

"You're welcome." I replied as I moved the chair to sit next to her.

"Can you lift your shirt so your stomach is exposed please?" Dr. Childs asked Clare and Clare obeyed by lifting her shirt to where the hem was right under her breasts. Clare closed her eyes as the doctor put some gel on her stomach causing her to wince.

"That's really warm." She said softly causing both the doctor and myself to chuckle a little as she reached for my hand and I gladly put my hand in hers as our fingers entwined. I turned my attention to the screen when I noticed that the doctor was moving a mouse like instrument around Clare's stomach to see her insides.

"See this big black mass?" Dr. Childs asked as she pointed to what looked like a black hole

"What is it?" I replied

"The uterus." Dr. Childs said as I nodded she zoomed in on it and moved the mouse around more I glanced back over to Clare and noticed her eyes were closed now I'll have to wake her again. "See this little white thing?" She asked, again I nodded. "That's the baby. She's about four weeks now." She confirmed

"Laymen's terms?" I asked

"One month." she replied.

"I'm pregnant!" Clare exclaimed as she shot up causing Dr. Childs to jump and remove the mouse. I felt like hitting myself in the forehead, but resisted the urge.

"One month." I said as I looked at her.

"Lay down again please?" Dr. Childs asked calmly, Clare obeyed but this time she kept her eyes on the screen to see the baby. It didn't take long for Dr. Childs to find it this time. Clare squeezed my hand tightly when Dr. Childs pointed out the baby again. Clare's face turned pure white like she's seen a ghost and I rubbed the back of her hand. "I'll print out some pictures for you." Dr. Child's said as she removed the mouse and wiped off Clare's stomach.

"What are we going to do?" Clare asked softly as she sat up. I thought about it for a minute.

"We have two options. Option one: We abort the baby no one knows and we take extra precautions when making love from now on or Option two: We tell Imogen and Jake as well as our parents, we keep the baby you and me and raise a family." I said as I looked into her beautiful blue eyes.

"What about not wanting to hurt Imogen and Jake?" She asked. I scooped her up onto my lap and rubbed her belly.

"Would you rather hurt this little one that we created?" I asked back

"Eli you know I'm against abortions, but what about you not wanting to hurt Imogen?" Clare asked

"She'll live, Clare. I love you, not her and this is my child. I can't tell you to stay with me, have the baby and become a family because it's your body and I can't make the decision for you. But I can tell you that I'll love you regardless like I said before if you do want to abort the baby we'll take extra precautions in the future." I assured I was going to say more but Clare looked like she was about to talk.

"Eli I think I want to keep the baby." She said softly looking at her belly as she rubbed it. My face lit up.

"Really?" I asked hopeful.

"Really." She said looking into my eyes with a smile. I hugged her tightly, but not tight enough to hurt her or the baby and kissed her passionately.

"Ahem" Dr. Childs cleared her throat as she walked in. "I printed out six pictures for you one for each of your parents and one for each of you." she said handing Clare the pictures.

"Thank you." Clare said excitedly as she sat on my lap.

"You're welcome and your next appointment is next month. Take your time getting ready." Dr. Childs said before telling us a list of do's and don'ts and leaving. Clare stayed in my lap and we both looked at the ultra sound picture.

"That's our baby." I said happily.

"I'm scared Eli." Clare sobbed.

"Of what?" I asked cautiously.

"Telling Jake and Imogen as well as our parents." she giggled as she rubbed her belly, this time I rubbed her belly as well. "Are you going to move in with me?" she asked

"As long as you want me to." I said honestly.

"Good because I want us to raise this baby in the house I grew up in." She said

"Anything you want and when do you want us to tell Imogen and Jake?" I asked

"Today." She said and I smiled

"Do you want me there when you tell Jake?"

"Can you park Morty in the garage and hide there?"

"Of course I can" I said before kissing her lightly on the lips. I put her down and stood up, we laced our fingers together as we made our way out of the office.

I opened the door to Morty for Clare and shut it behind her before getting in on my side. "We're really doing this?" She asked as I started the ignition.

"As long as you want to." I said as I pulled away.

"I want to. I want a family with you. It's like our second chance." Clare said and I took her hand in mine and kissed the back of it as I kept my eyes on the road.

"I love you Clare." I said as I put our hands between us and she laced our fingers together.

"I love you too." She said happily "Can you move in after we tell Imogen?" She asked

"We?" I asked knowing damned well I'm telling her alone.

"I want to be there." She said

"How about you wait in the hearse and I tell her?" I suggested

"Fine." She groaned. "But can you move in afterwards?" She asked I thought for a minute my lease wasn't up until next month and I have the last month paid for I'm sure Imogen wouldn't mind staying or having it to herself for a month.

"I will." I said as I stopped at a stop sign and kissed Clare quickly before looking both ways and continuing the drive.

"Good because I'd need you with me." she admitted softly.

"And I want to be with you." I said as she looked at me and smiled.

"I can't believe we're raising a family this is so surreal." She squealed

"I know it is." I chuckled

When reached Clare's house I pulled into the driveway "Clare can I have the keys to open the garage?" I asked

"Sure." She said handing me her house keys.

"Thanks I want you to pull Morty into the garage for me." I said as I got out. I watched Clare slide over to the driver seat when I shut the door. I walked up to the front door, unlocked it, locked it back up, shifted around her picture frames on the wall to find the key to the garage, and opened the garage door. I left the door open as I opened the bigger one to let Clare in and she pulled in once I moved aside. I watched as Clare parked Morty, shut of his ignition, and step out of the hearse.

"Here" She said handing me the keys.

"Thank you." I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome." She said as she pulled out her cell phone. I watched as she went though her contacts looking for a phone number and then put the phone up to her ear. "Can you come over?" She asked without even saying hello. "Bye." She said as she hung up.

"That was fast." I said as Clare shifted her weight and I handed her, her keys.

"He'll be over in ten." She said and kissed me lightly.

"I'll be here." I chuckled

"I'll get you something to drink." She said as she pushed off me I watched her go and followed behind her, not shutting the door as I left. She was in the kitchen pouring some tea in a glass and I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Eli, Jake will be here soon." She said as she tilted her head. I nibbled on her skin lightly causing her to moan. I licked the spot and then moved away from her.

"I take it that this can of soda is mine?" I asked as I picked it up. Clare nodded as she drank her tea. "I'll be in the garage." I said as I pecked her on the cheek and made my way to the garage, shutting the door behind me.

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I sat down at the table with my glass of cold tea in my hands as I sipped it occasionally to calm down my nerves. I know Eli is in the garage so I have nothing to worry about. Once I heard a knock on the door I went to answer it. "Come in." I said to Jake and he bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I watched as he walked over to the couch and sat down. I shut the door, went to get my glass of tea, and sat down on the love seat.

"So what's up?" He asked casually

"We have to break up." I said simply

"What! Why I love you Clare." He said as he stood up looking for a reason.

"I'm pregnant." I said unable to face him.

"You're a virgin still." He said and I shook my head.

"I'm four weeks pregnant I have the ultrasound picture." I said as I picked it up from the table I left the rest in Morty knowing Jake wouldn't be able to shred them into pieces out of anger. I watched Jake as he looked at the picture.

"This was taken today. You went today?" He scoffed, I nodded as he started to pace around the room. "I trusted you. I thought I would be the one to take your virginity. I thought we'd settle down and have a family. Now here I am finding out another man not only took my girl but impregnated her as well." He fumed

"He never took me." I said

"What?" Jake asked

"I called him, we ended up coming here and I cried on his shoulder begging him to take my virginity even if it was just once I knew I'd die happy knowing he took it and I wouldn't die a virgin. We made a plan to call each other when needed." I admitted and Jake got angrier.

"How could you do this to me? After six years Clare! Count em….Six!" he yelled loudly as he punched a wall putting a hole in it causing Eli to rush out of the garage and jump in front of me.

"Eli I'm fine." I said softly as Jake looked between us.

"You impregnated Clare?" He asked Eli in a shaky voice.

"Yea." Eli admitted

"Aren't you with Imogen still?" Jake asked

"Not after today." Eli stated

"You two betrayed us. Both of you after six years, six fucking years and here you two are screwing behind our backs." Jake said loudly as he sat back on the couch. I moved to Eli's side and grabbed his arm as we watched Jake shake his head repetitively. "You got your wish. I'm done." He said before getting up and storming off. Me and Eli flinched as Jake slammed the door shut when he left.

Eli turned towards me and kissed my head. Jake stormed back inside "Fuck both of you." he yelled as he threw a glass against the wall and left again slamming the door behind him. Eli walked over and picked up the broken glass that lay on the floor.

"Why are you picking up the glass we're coming back later when you move in." I giggled

"Because I'll be moving things in here and you'll probably rush around putting them away I don't want you getting hurt or going barefoot and stepping on some." He stated and I bent down to help. "I got it you could get cut."

"I'll be fine stop worrying." I said playfully

"Clare please I don't want you getting hurt." He said lovingly and I threw away the small bits in my hand.

"Now to tell Imogen hopefully she doesn't break anything like Jake did." I said once he finished picking up the glass.

"You are waiting here." Eli stated as me looked up at him with saddened eyes. "I can't risk something happening to you." he said as he caressed my cheek with his hand automatically I leaned against his touch "Who knows what Imogen is capable of." he cooed

"But Eli, you said I could wait in the hearse and what if Jake comes back?" I said knowing that he wouldn't let me stay here alone if I feared that Jake would come back.

"Fine I'll think of something." he said as he took my hand and we left the house. Eli opened the driver's side to Morty ushering me in.

"I need you to back him up so I can close the garage hatch." He said as I nodded, he kissed me chastely before shutting the door and walking to open the garage hatch. I started the ignition and began to back out of my garage once Eli gave me the signal that it was ok. I backed out until I was next to my car then stopped, shifted the gear into park, and scooted to the passenger side as Eli shut the hatch. I smiled at him through the windshield as he started to make his way to Morty, I scooted to the passenger side, and hopped in the driver's side. We began the journey to his apartment.

The ride was quiet aside from the music I turned on, it was comfortable though and the weather was nice so I rolled down the window letting the breeze blow my curls around. Eli held my hand occasionally giving it a few light squeezes and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. I knew he was contemplating an idea to keep me safe while he talks to Imogen.

We pulled up to a big brick apartment complex it wasn't as fancy as Fiona's loft, but it did look nice from the outside. Eli parked in a parking spot, shut of the ignition, got out, opened my door and helped me out. I stayed quiet not knowing if he was bringing me with him or what he was going to do. I knew I would be safe so I didn't question it. We walked up to the front door of the building hand in hand and Eli pulled out his keys and opened the door. He lead me down a long hallway and we stopped in front of a door numbered "A12" in which he knocked on. I moved behind him unsure if it was his apartment and he forgot the key or what.

"Oh hi Eli, what can I do for you?" A young female voice asked.

"I need you to do a favour for me a few actually." Eli said nervously.

"And what would they be?" She asked

"First off is your husband home I might need him soon?" He asked

"Yes, he's inside looking over his class syllabus" She said

"School doesn't start for another month." Eli chuckled.

"I know, but you know how he is." She laughed.

"About the other favour." Eli stated before moving behind me and putting his hands on my shoulders. "This is Clare, I need you to look over her for a while, don't let her leave, and keep her safe. She's pregnant with my child I'll explain later."

"No need to Imogen's told me all about how you and Clare dated in high school and how she feared you were still in love with her. It all fits now, the late night phone calls, leaving at random times, trust me I think she knows." She said to Eli before turning her attention to me. "Clare, I'm Gretchen it's nice to meet you now lets get you comfortable" She said grabbing me by the waist and leading me inside. I tuned her out as I looked back to Eli he smiled at me as he shut the door and waved.

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I knew leaving Clare with Gretchen and Steve would be a good idea. Steve is a math professor at the college I teach at so we talk often we got along good he and Gretchen got married at the young age of eighteen and have been married for almost five years now. They also get along with Adam and Katie who are in New York right now studying at a college while Fiona is taking up fashion in Mulan. The four of us get along, but Katie and Clare were the only ones to get along with Jake, he hated me and Adam. Me because of mine and Clare's relationship Adam because in high school he kept telling Jake that me and Clare belong together Katie just stayed out of it, but defended Adam when she needed to.

I stopped in front of my apartment and looked at the door for a few seconds before opening it. I walked inside to find Imogen sitting down at the table drinking a cup of coffee so I sat across from her, I could tell she was going to ask me where I was or what's going on so I decided to beat her to the chase. "Clare's pregnant" I said softly.

"Is that why you ran out in such a rush this morning?" she asked

"Yea." I nodded

"Tell her and Jake congratulations for me." She said

"The baby's mine." I stated

"How far along is she?" Imogen asked

"Four weeks" I said knowingly, Imogen stayed quiet as she put her cup down and then looked at it with her hands wrapped around the lass.

"I thought you would've started to love me the way you loved her, but I guess I could never take her place." she said softly "I loved you with all my heart and you never once loved me the same. It hurts Eli it really does." she sobbed "We've been through everything together your break up with Clare, my double life or lives, your depression and now this." she said her voice rose at the end. "I can't believe this Eli." She yelled loudly "I trusted you I shared everything with you I opened up to you hoping you'd fall in love with me rather than tell me empty 'I love yous' to keep me satisfied apparently it meant nothing. What's worst of all is I still love you and probably always will." she cried as she got up. "Now I have to got to my fucking parents' house you know how much I hate it there." she sobbed as she started to pack. I ran and stopped her .

"No I'm moving in with Clare the lease is up next month and it's already paid for so you wouldn't have to pay, you can just stay here and if you wanted to you could take over the lease." I said and she nodded.

"I want all of your stuff out assuming Clare has furniture and what about Jake?" She asked

"They never moved in together." I said clearing her confusion.

"The sad thing is that I had an idea that you were cheating on me with her I just didn't want to believe it." She paused "I guess I just wanted to believe that you loved me as much as I love you." I didn't know what to say so I gathered my suitcases and started to pack them. Imogen helped I guess in a rush to get me out of the apartment. She started throwing my books into boxes as well as everything else she didn't want. After an hour we had all of my stuff packed up.

"I'll be back I'm going to see if Steve can help me." I said before walking out of the apartment.

I walked back to Gretchen and Steve's place and knocked on the door. Gretchen answered. "Can I borrow Steve?" I asked

"Sure I'll go get him." She said and Clare walked over to me, she placed her hand on my cheek and I leaned into it before removing it and kissing her palm.

"Well?" She said

"I gave Imogen the apartment and me and Steve are going to move everything into Morty." I stated

"Was she mad?" Clare asked

"Yea, but she didn't throw or punch anything like Jake did. She just cried." I said as she nodded.

"So what do you need Professor Goldsworthy." He chuckled.

"I need help moving my stuff into Morty." I said

"What happened?" He asked confused and looking at Clare who stood in his apartment. I'm guessing he didn't leave his office.

I grabbed Clare, turned her so her back what against my chest, and wrapped my arms around her as she put her hands on my forearms. "See this one here is pregnant with my child I broke it off with Imogen so me and Clare can become a family." I explained.

"So you're Clare Edwards. The way Imogen described you I made you out to be really ugly rather than the beautiful person that you are." He chuckled

"I heard that." Gretchen yelled.

"You hear everything." Steve chuckled back. "So are you ready to gather your stuff and don't become a stranger."

"You know that's impossible we work at the same college." I laughed as I kissed Clare's head and removed myself from her.

It only took me and Steve half an hour to move everything in the back of Morty, Imogen locked herself in the bathroom the whole time with the shower running. I don't know if she was showering or crying, or both. It hurts to know I upset her, but at the same time we both get a second chance at happiness rather than just being stuck in an unhappy relationship. Steve knew about me dating Clare since she visited a few times and he kept it a secret since I wasn't aware he knew me and Imogen were dating since we live on opposite sides of the building and rarely cross paths unless I visit. After everything was moved I walked with Steve back to his apartment to fetch Clare.

"Ready to go home?" I asked her as I held out my hand.

"Ready." She said as she grabbed my hand, moved it over my shoulder, and wrapped her hand around my waist as we made our way to Morty.


	5. Thank Yous and Shout Outs

**TVIsMyDru**g - For taking the time to review every single chapter.

**Ilovetaylorswift13** - For always having the longest reviews letting me know how you liked the story in detail. I appreciate you taking the time typing them up and telling me not only your predictions(which made me smile when I read them because you were the only one that did this) but for also letting me know how you feel about the characters as well whether it was from Jake being a jerk or to where you felt sad for them I enjoyed reading what you had to say.

**Lehcar14**- For helping me with the story when I needed it and always being a DM away.

Thank you for everyone who took the time to add my story to their favourites and alert lists, and a special thank you to those who reviewed because each review I received encouraged me to keep writing the story and I've read each and everyone of them.

On a side note the sequel to this story will be called "Forever and Always" It should be posted soon.


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